


Roadtrip

by Elle0555



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 12:16:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4019413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elle0555/pseuds/Elle0555
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron and Robert go on a road trip in search for Victoria and Adam<br/>Arguments happen and Revelations surface!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr: missme033.tumblr.com

ROBERT

I walk through the pub in a bitter mood and head straight for the back in search of Aaron. I'm getting death glares from Chas but i really couldn't care right now. I've just found out Adam has been cheating on my sister and i wanna kill him. If Aaron knew about this than i'm gonna lose it big time. Even though we're not together anymore he still has no right keeping a secret like this from me. I've never been this angry before.

When i bypass Chas and her distasteful looks. I enter the back room and find Aaron in the kitchen making a sandwich. He looks pretty pissed off to see me standing in front of him with a look of pure rage on my face. He's not the only one who can lash out. It takes a lot for me to get there but if i'm pushed and pushed to breaking point Hell have no fury. And right now i'm pretty close. I go and lean against the kitchen counter so we're now opposite each other.If i wasn't so distracted by my sisters discovery I'd have him against the wall by now and i don't think he'd reject me. No matter what he says we're never over for long. I cant help but notice how worn out and defeated he looks though is that what two weeks apart from me does to him? I know i repeatedly hurt him. And in the process that hurts me but he knew all along where he stood. And although i may love him more than my own wife it doesn't mean i'm ready to up foot and leave with him never looking back. I shake the last thought from my mind. I'm stressed out. I don't know what i'm saying. I cant love him more than my own wife. But why did i think it? its baffling me as to why i said that to myself, Did i just admit the truth without me even really acknowledging it?

I decide to put that thought to the back of my mind and revisit it later. Right now i need to confront Aaron and see if he knew about his best mate cheating on my sister. He must know something about it. There so close its almost as if there married. It doesn't make me jealous though. Not at all. 

“What do you want Robert I've got nothing to say to you.” I look at him and sigh because he's so annoying at times and it winds me up no end. “I'm not here because of you Aaron, I'm here because of my sister and you're lying scumbag of a best friend.” 

“You wanna watch it Robert, that's my mate your talking about. Wouldn't wanna ruin your face by decking Ya.” I take a step closer and he doesn't back away if anything he's waiting for me to make a move. 

“Did you know about him cheating on Vic? And don't lie to me Aaron, I can read you like a book.” I'm in his face and he's biting that lip of his. This only frustrates me and makes me want to to pounce on him. “It's none of your business just like it's none of mine Robert so back off will Ya.” 

“I can't believe you knew Aaron, you knew all along and you didn't think to tell me? How selfish is that? What else are you hiding?” He grabs me by the lapels of my jacket and forces me against the counter so I'm now back where I was originally standing. “Me selfish Robert? Are you being serious?” I know he's angry now but he doesn't scare me, when he's like this I only fear for him and what he'll regret later. “Hit me then Aaron, if it makes you feel any better. But I know if you do it's not because of my last comment.”

 

AARON

"You make everything about you, don't ya Robert? I'm sick of it. I did know about Adam, I've known for weeks." I loosen my grip on him and turn away unable to look at his face any longer. I feel bad for Victoria she didn't deserve this. But there's nothing Robert or me can do about it they need to work it out on there own without him sticking his nose in where its really not needed. "Why didn't you tell me Aaron?" I'm sick of him playing the high and mighty.

"You're no saint Robert. Look what you were doing behind your wife's back." I need away from him. These last few weeks have been bad enough. I cant stand the sight of him. but i cant bear to be without him. "It's hardly the same Aaron. Don't compare our situation to theirs we're completely different." I'm done listening to him and on my way out the door when he pulls me back with more pressure than needed. "Where you going? Don't walk away from me Aaron."

"Seriously mate get your hands off me. Who do you think you are Robert? Touch me again and your know about it."

I walk out of the back room in annoyance and storm out of the pub. I know it wont be long before he's following me. I just cant shake him no matter how hard i try. My feelings for him are only getting stronger and day by day i'm weakening, i just wanna get on with my life once and for all and put Robert Sugden behind me and never look back. He made his choice and fought for Chrissie why cant i force myself to make mine and move on? I'm leaning against a wall at the front of the pub. I don't know if i'm waiting for him or not but i don't get the chance to think about it when i side glance and see he's standing beside me. 

"I don't wanna argue with you Aaron. But she's my little sister and i don't like seeing her so upset." I understand where he's coming from and i get he wants to look out for Vic and protect her like any normal big brother should, But he doesn't show that side of him not even Vic sees it that much. I'm the only one that gets to witness this side of his personality and its a shame because if he showed it to other people he wouldn't be half as misunderstood as he is now.

"I get it Robert. My best mate cheated on my other best mate. I cant get involved, because even though she's your sister if it comes to it i will take Adam's side." He's nodding his head at me as i stare into his eyes. As i go to open my mouth again i find he's looking straight past me. So i spin round and instantly see whats got him distracted. Looking down the road i spot Victoria and Adam carrying 2 large suitcases. That's far to much stuff for a holiday. Where are they going? And why are they going? I'm so confused and when i turn to Robert his face is portraying exactly the same as mine. "Where the hell are they going?" Before i get a chance to reply he's charging down the road. and im running behind him. His efforts are pointless though as Adam eyes Robert they jump into a taxi and speed off out of the village. 

"What has just happened Aaron? We need to follow them. She's making a huge mistake and i'm not gonna let Vic ruin her life." 

TBC???


	2. Chapter 2

AARON

We're in his latest choice of vehicle and hurrying off down the road. I don't know what he thinks this is gonna achieve but there no talking him out of it now. It's been so long since I've been completely alone with him and I feel a little anxious. I swore to myself I wouldn't let him effect me anymore but seeing this unusual caring side to him is dropping my guard. He's focusing on the road his hands gripped so tight around the steering wheel he's knuckles are starting to turn white. And he won't look at me either. I didn't even wanna come with him. I wanted to stay out of this whole mess. 

The quiet between us is starting to drive me insane. I don't remember Robert ever being this silent for so long. Even when we were in bed together he'd still mumble away. This is different. I know I need to put our whole situation to one side and try to support him. But its so hard when every timeI look at him I'm reminded of what I no longer have. 

“What's with the silence Robert? She'll be alright you know, she's a big girl. Vic can look after herself.” I shuffle in my seat and settle on looking out the window not expecting him to reply to me. 

“She's still my baby sister Aaron, I just wanna look after her and protect her. And I can't do that if I'm not around. Why are they even going?” He's clenching his jaw like he always does. and for the first time since we broke up I sympathize with him. 

“Robert he does love her you know, deep down Adams a good guy.”

“Yeah you would say that though he's your best mate Aaron. I'm not buying it. She could do better than Adam Barton.” 

I'm getting sick of him tearing strips out of my best mate when he's not even here to defend himself. I know Adam is an idiot at the best of times but he made a mistake everyone deserves a second chance. Robert of all people should know that better than anyone else. 

I return to looking out the window and try my best to work out where they could be heading. What is the reason for the sudden rush? And to not even say goodbye? Something doesn't sit right. There's more to this than meets the eye. 

“What are you thinking Aaron? You have told me everything right?” How can he read me so well even when I'm not looking at him.

"I don't know anything else Robert or even if there is anything else. You know as much as me right now."

ROBERT

I don't know whats happening. but if its the last thing i do i'm gonna make Adam pay for what hes done. How can Vic take him back and leave without saying a word. All my attention is focused on the road in front of me and trying to keep up with the taxi there in. Which so far has been surprisingly easy. The use of back roads and country lanes are much appreciated. I practically threw Aaron into the car against his will. He didn't put up much of a fight though. I was expecting it to feel awkward between us and a little uncomfortable. But it doesn't its a pleasant silence, if there's one thing to come out of the stupid mess, Its spending time with Aaron again. I didn't realize how much i missed him these last few weeks.

"Aaron i know we're not on the best of terms but maybe we could talk? Now a good time as any." I wanna make things right with him. I don't like not having Aaron in my life. I miss his face and his lips. I just feel lost without him and i cant stand it.

"Talk about what Robert? There's nothing to talk about anymore. Lets just concentrate on Adam and Vic." I hear what he's saying but i need him to listen to me and right now he's got no choice unless he wants to jump out of a moving car. 

"We need to talk Aaron. I need to talk." When i turn to gaze at him he's still got his eyes fixed and staring out of the window. "I'll talk to the back of your head if i have to. Just hear me out please. You've got nothing to lose by listening." "Fine Robert talk then. But don't expect much." I get him to finally look at me and if i wasn't for the fact i could kill us both in a car accident, Id happily stare into his eyes for hours and not get bored.

"I miss you Aaron. And i know its something you probably don't wanna hear, But i needed you to know that I've never stopped thinking about you. It was never all about getting Chrissie back, Yeah i wanted to make up with her. But now i have things are different. I've got my wife back but i lost you and i cant handle that." 

"What do you want me to say Robert? You can't carry on having both of us forever. Its not fair." His voice has changed into a low shout and i can feel the tension and anger he's directing my way. 

"Can't things just go back to the way they were Aaron? We had fun right?" 

"Fun? That's all it ever was to you Robert. Just a bit of fun. A way to satisfy your needs when your wife wouldn't give you any. You're unbelievable you know that? " This is gonna turn into another argument between us, Why did i open my mouth? 

"You think that little of me Aaron Really? I admit at the start it was like that. But it was the same for you. I don't feel that way anymore and the fact that you think you were always just sex to me actually hurts a little bit." If he was shouting before i'm practically screaming at him right now. Why does he think that? Did i make him think like that? 

"Oh come on Robert. You used me. Picked me up and dropped me when you felt like it. You never loved me. Its just something you said to keep me onside and like the idiot i am i fell for it." 

I slam on the breaks, screeching as i come to a stop in the middle of the road. "What the hell are you doing Robert? Your're gonna lose them." 

I know he's right but at this moment i couldn't care less. I'm shocked by what Aaron's just said to me and everything else i'm suppose to be focusing on right now has gone completely out the window. I told him i loved him because it was the truth. I couldn't continue to watch him suffer like that. I never set out for this to happen i didn't plan on falling in love with him. He needs to know i meant it. That i still mean it.

"I know i lie and cheat Aaron. I hurt people i care about. You know that. But i wasn't lying when i told you that day how i felt. I swear to you what i told you was the truth. I loved you then and i love you now. That'll never change for me. So don't ever think that i said it to get my own way. I said it because that's how i feel about you." 

I restart the engine and pull over at the side of the road. I'm never gonna find Vic now. But that's not whats on my mind. Aaron's looking at me like he's just seen a ghost. And as i go to talk again Aaron bolts from the car and starts pacing down the road. He must believe what i just told him otherwise he wouldn't be acting this way. I need to follow him and reassure him once and for all about what i feel and where i stand with him. Victoria will wait. Its not like she expected me anyway. And once this is sorted out i'll find her and that cheating low life. Right now though i need to make Aaron my priority. And as i get out of the car that's exactly what i do. 

TBC???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and comments. :)


	3. Chapter 3

ROBERT

"Aaron come back don't walk away from me." He can hear me, but his pace just keeps getting faster. He can't leave things like this between us I won't let him. I know I hurt him and ill pay for that. Sometimes I wish things were different that day in the barn when he told me he loved me. I wish I would of reacted differently. But I never knew I had real feelings for him then, I never wanted to accept I might be in love with him. Or even if at that time I was in love with him. I've messed his head up time and time again. He's right, I'm a user and I lie my way through life.

I start running up the road and catch up with him. I'm trying to reason with him and calm him down, but he's having none of it. He's pushing me away every time I try to get near to him. I'm at a loss for what to do. How do I prove to him I was telling the truth? I can never lie to him for long it makes me feel too guilty. I do it with my wife day in day out and I never feel the way I do when I lie to Aaron. I move myself in front of him and firmly place my hands on his chest to stop him from taking another step. If he hits me then he hits me. Right now I don't care what he does as long as I get him to listen to what I'm saying. I stare into his eyes and search for any anger or frustration. But he's giving me nothing his expression is blank like he's staring right through me. I just want to shake him. I need to get a response, some sort of reaction. So I tell him again what I've been holding in for months and waiting so desperately to hear him say back.

"I love you Aaron, I love you. I'm not lying about that. It's all I think about. You're all I think about."

I sigh in relief as I finally get something from him as he pushes me backwards. "Why are you doing this Robert? You can't do this to me again. I need to get over you. You've proved to me I'm never going to be enough for you, so why tell me you love me? It changes nothing between us. And it gives me false hope. I won't be your bit on the side anymore."

I let go of him and step back in defeat. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, my head is all over the place and all I seem to create is destruction. I want Aaron but I want Chrissie. I often ask myself who I can't live without and my answer is always Aaron. In the 2 weeks we spent apart that only verified it for me. But I have a wife and a status could I really throw that all away on the chance of a life with the one person who gets me? The one person who understands me better than I do myself.

"I'm sorry Aaron." The words come out of my mouth in barely a whisper I'm surprised he heard me. I can't take the disappointment on his face anymore, I just want to hold him and never let go. If only I could be the person he so rightfully deserves. Every time I look at him it breaks my heart to know that i'll never be good enough for him.

AARON

He told me he loved me again and it felt amazing to hear, but it's something I really shouldn't of heart. Robert knows how to mess my head up. I can't keep dangling on a bit of string hoping he will commit to me. I tried my hardest to be supportive of him today and help find Victoria and Adam and then he throws this in my face. Makes me doubt everything he's told me in the past. I'm tired of the thoughts going round and round in my head. It's confusing and damn right frustrating.

"It's just words Robert, Everything you say to me is just empty words. I don't want to do this right now. This is not what we're here for. We need to find Adam and Vic." I look at him briefly before heading back towards the parked car. I hear his footsteps follow me as I get into the passenger seat and close the door. When I fasten my seat belt, he's sitting beside me with his head resting on the steering wheel. I can't deal with this kind of Robert. "Lets go Robert, I'm going to try calling Adam and see if he picks up."

"What do you want from me Aaron?" I turn my head and stare at him in confusion. What is he doing? I can see tears in his eyes as he stares into the distance.

"I want you to drive Robert."

"What is your problem?"

"You know what my problem is Aaron. Its you it always has been. Everything in my life comes down to you. How can you think I don't love you? "

Did you not just hear what I said back there Robert? I don't want to talk about it so drop it." I take my phone from my pocket and search for Adams number to distract myself.

"I don't care this is getting sorted. I can't stand this atmosphere between us anymore." I shuffle in my seat and put my phone back in my pocket, When I hear the doors lock with a clicking sound.

"Are you serious Robert, You think locking me in is going to help this situation? I wasn't even going anywhere."

"I'm not taking the chance Aaron. There's things I need to tell you and if this is the only way then so be it, but I want you to listen to me and then you'll know I'm telling you the truth. That I would never lie about loving you."

I don't know if I'm ready to hear this or if I even want to. I just need this over with. "Tell me then Robert." I look into his eyes and I see fear. I'm scared now at what he could tell me will it change everything between us?

TBC?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou for your comments and kudos :)


	4. Chapter 4

ROBERT

How do I tell him this? An hour ago I never thought about any of this or the fact that I needed to say it out loud to him. But it's the truth and I can't stand lying to him anymore, It's killing me and tearing us even further apart than we are now. I don't want to be apart from him anymore. I want Aaron in my life, These last few weeks apart have been hell on earth. I thought winning Chrissie back and focusing on my marriage would be more than enough for me. She was what I wanted, What I needed. But I realized sometime in the last two weeks that I was wrong. I don't look at her the same anymore. We hardly talk to each other without it ending in an argument. I don't want to feel like this anymore. My marriage is over, It has been for a while. I should of never gone back to her in the first place, Things could be so different right now if I'd only of swallowed my pride and chose what I really wanted. Chrissie and me are dead in the water theirs no spark anymore, I don't feel fireworks when we kiss. My heart doesn't skip a beat when I see her. All I feel towards her these days is resentment. And I have no right to feel that way. I know I'll lose everything if I end it with Chrissie. I just don't know if I'm prepared for that. Before Aaron I always thought I finally found what I always wanted. The lifestyle I craved my entire life had become a reality. Sitting on The unlimited flow of money and living in the fancy house you only dreamed about as a kid. But it's all just materialistic. I'm not happy anymore. I'm not sure if I was ever happy before Aaron. Those things used to satisfy me just as well as Aaron did. But he upped the game and feelings on my part became involved suddenly making the entirety, I once thought was everything not seem as attractive to me anymore.

"Robert, are you going to talk or what? I'm not sitting here waiting all day." I'm rocked from my thoughts when I hear Aaron's voice pierce through my ears. When I look at him, he looks calm, almost too calm for Aaron. I feel anything but. I suddenly feel myself growing hotter by the second. I'm a wreck, Getting through, this is going to be difficult for me. He needs to know the truth, though. I refuse to carry on like this anymore. When I turn my head to him, staring longer than I should, trying to wrack my brain and find the right words to use.

"Everything that's happened between us Aaron, It's all my fault. I'm a selfish prick and you deserve so much better than me. What I put you through, The things I've said in the past, there unforgivable." He's screwing his face up like a toddler that's just about to cry. Why can't I just get straight to the point. I hate feeling nervous around him. I don't do nerves yet With Aaron that's all I seem to feel. "What do you really want from me Aaron? Truthfully."

I don't know if I'm ready to hear the words leave his mouth, I'm aware, Aaron has said it all before to me and I acted like a complete idiot towards him. But I didn't know what I was feeling back then I wasn't aware how strongly I felt for him, I need to hear those three words again only then I'm praying I'll know what to do. Aaron won't look at me he's looking anywhere but my face. I can sense the tension rising between us. I could cut it with a knife. When I shuffle in my seat and settle on facing the side of Aaron's head I gently nudge his arm to try and get his attention. It only makes him snap at me. Not that I care in the slightest at least Aaron is finally acknowledging me now. I repeat my question to him, but slower this time to make sure he hears it correctly. At my last words Aaron turns his head and I see those eyes that take my breathe away, staring back at me.

"I don't know what you want me to say Robert. I want to forget this ever happened" Signalling between the two of us before he continues talking to me. "We've been here too many times before Robert. I can't risk opening myself up to you again without getting hurt. I won't do it."

"You think it's been easy for me Aaron? To open up to you? I wish I never met you." I regret saying that the moment it left my lips. "Coming back to this shitty village was the worst mistake of my life. You ruined everything I built up. You came along Aaron and knocked it down in one fell swoop. Leaving me with nothing other than you on my mind all the time."

"Don't blame me for this Robert. You came looking for it and I just so happened to be there. If I ruined things for you, you're the one that let it happen. You can't be satisfied with just one person can you? Why can't you just leave me the hell alone. Go back to playing happy families and let me move on." I need to escape this confined space I'm in. I want to shout and scream at him. Aaron really has no idea what goes on in my head, I feel trapped, but I couldn't escape him even if I wanted to.

"You don't know how hard it is for me Aaron". I realize my voice has changed from calm and steady. I'm now half shouting half pleading with him. "I can't move on Aaron, and I don't want you to. Just please tell me you still feel the same.”

AARON

I can't take this constant battle between us anymore. Robert plays mind games with me and I fall for it every time. I don't want to feel like this anymore, The Feeling like I can't breathe without him but wanting to throttle him when I'm around him. My emotions are shattered to pieces and he has done that to me. I let that happen after swearing to myself I would never fall in love again. It was too painful the first time, Why should it be any different the second? I didn't want to fall for him, Robert is not the type I go for. Which only makes me realize I must never of had a type to begin with. I refuse to sit back anymore and be taken for an idiot. He wants to know how I honestly feel, And I know I should give him my answer, but Robert doesn't deserve anything from me. But maybe I can get closure from this. Maybe after today I can put him behind me and get my life back on track.

Being strong enough to tell Robert the truth is the hardest thing I have to do. Everything we've gone through together the ups and downs and the constant feeling of being held at arm’s length by him. The let downs and unforgivable things he has said to me. Looking back over the last few months I admit I'm weak for him. I crave his attention without intentionally wanting it from him. If Robert said jump I'd say how high. I can't believe how vulnerable I've let myself become. I was finally in a good place after years of barely living and only surviving. I was content for the first time since I could remember. Then Robert came along, I dropped my guard and let him in possibly making it one of the biggest mistakes I've made. I should regret it. But looking at him now. Deep down I know I never will.

I hear the click and realize Robert’s unlocked the car. Purely for his benefit, as he immediately gets out and slams the door behind him. I decide enough is enough and I need to tell him how I truly feel. I don’t want to be at odds with him anymore. I miss him. Getting out of the passenger’s seat I slowly walk around to where Robert is leaning against the car. Sliding up bedsides him I cross my arms over my chest and take a deep breath before telling him the truth. 

“You know how I feel Robert. It’ll never change. You’re under my skin. I’ve tried so hard to hate you, but it never lasts long. With us, it’s this constant back and forth. It doesn’t mean we can go back to the way things were though.” I can feel Robert’s eyes on me as I’m kicking the gravel underneath my feet. 

Robert pushes himself off the parked car shaking his head as he stands in front of me. Hands as always stuffed in his pockets. “What you saying Aaron?” 

“I'm saying Robert it’s all or nothing. I won’t be used by you anymore. If you really want this. Then you know what you have to do.” I surprise myself with what I just said. I never ask for what I want. Always putting people first is a default setting for me. For once in my life I need to put myself and my needs first. 

“You want me to leave my wife for you Aaron?” 

“Forget it Robert.” I walk away silently and curse myself for letting my guard slip once again. How stupid can I be? I know he’ll never leave Chrissie. Why did I even waste my breath. 

I’m not at a far enough distance to ignore his last words to me. And to say they completely shocked me would be an understatement, Should I believe what he’s saying to me? Or is this just another lie he thought up to keep me on side? 

TBC?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like reading.


End file.
